Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 7.71

The gods who are immortal are not vexed because during so long a time they must tolerate continually men as they are, and so many of them bad. And besides this, they also take care of them in all ways.

But you, who are destined to end so soon, are you wearied of enduring the bad, and this too when you are one of them?

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 7 (tr Long)

I will find myself so easily drawn to complaining, especially when I see most everyone else busy complaining. The only motive I can really discern within myself is the desire to feel that I must be right by means of pointing out how everyone else is wrong, or that I must be good because everyone else is bad. Perhaps, I think, I can seem superior by making others appear to be inferior.

Whatever another may be in himself, however, really says nothing at all about me, and as soon as I accuse him, berate him, or insult him, it changes nothing about his character, even as it changes quite a bit about my character. I am annoyed by someone doing evil, and by doing so I have only let evil into my own soul.

Two things can help me here: knowing that this too shall pass, and recognizing that I myself am a very part of the problem.

If I remember that what I choose to find an annoyance is hardly permanent, is not the end of the world, and is far less important than I am making it, them I will have made it far less threatening in my estimation. If I see it as only one tiny aspect of the whole, I have, in a sense, thought it out of significance for me.

I can put it all into perspective. To me, right here and now, something may seem quite terrible, but in the grand scheme of things, in the order of Providence, it too has its place. Even this minuscule irritation exists for a purpose, and if I can consider the purpose, it will precisely cease to be an irritation to me.

Furthermore, let me hold a mirror to myself. I gripe about what is wrong, but I should also observe how often I am myself wrong. Would I then wish to be yelled at, or would I prefer to be helped? How am I making what is wrong into something right, or am I actually just making it even more wrong by my arrogance and resentment?

I can let myself become angry when I see ignorance, carelessness, greed, or deception. I am then left with the exact same ignorance, carelessness, greed, or deception in others, and I have compounded the problem by adding my own rage to the picture. I am better served if I reply with wisdom, concern, charity, or integrity. Then I have made myself better, and there is even a chance I might assist someone else in becoming better.

Look what we have done with the Internet revolution. With all those means available to us, we actually seem to understand less, and complain more. The next time I read something posted out of ignorance or malice, I really don’t need to try and “fix” it by being offended. 

Written in 1/2008