Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 7.39

To the immortal gods and us give joy.

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 7 (tr Long)

Surely we all know that it is our nature to be happy, and that we have no greater purpose than that. The difficulty, of course, is coming to understand what that may actually mean, and how best to achieve this end. Given the urgency of the task, we seem to often make ourselves quite miserable in the pursuit of happiness. We fill ourselves with anger, recrimination, frustration, and anxiety instead. With results like that, is there a chance we’re on the wrong path?

I have often succumbed to that sort of stubborn dissatisfaction, where I would rather be at war than at peace, where I would rather be vindicated than content. In hindsight, all I realize is that I have blinded myself to taking responsibility for myself. It somehow seems easier to lash out at everyone and everything outside of me, instead of improving what is inside of me.

My own last great obstacle to embracing happiness is letting go of resentment. I do not need to blame the world, and I don’t even need to blame myself anymore, because I can change my thinking and living right here and now.

In the middle of all the weeping and gnashing of teeth, I have overlooked joy. How simple joy really is, but how difficult I can make it for myself. I may foolishly prefer to be bloated with the arrogance of being somehow proven right, and the world proven wrong, instead of being completely content with the humility of just striving to be good.

For me, the recovery of joy is a part of what I like to call the Stoic Turn, a reordering of priorities. Life should be measured by what I do, not by what happens to me. I should seek to rule myself, not to rule others. My happiness ought to exist in harmony with the whole of Nature, not in conflict with the world. It means I can be defined by love instead of hate, acceptance instead of anger, and happiness instead of sadness.

It may seem so hopeless when I see how cynical people can become, the presence of the “life sucks and then you die” mentality. Yes, unpleasant things will happen, and yes, I will most certainly die, but that is neither here nor there. If I succumb to that sort of thinking, I am ignoring the most important part of it all, about how I can choose to live with and through such circumstances. Why should I focus on what is outside of my power, when I can dedicate myself completely to what is within my power?

Through it all, I remain convinced that we are all made, like the Divine, to find rest in joy. I am the only one who can stop me from doing so. 

Written in 12/2007

IMAGE: Abraham Janssens, An Allegory of Joy and Melancholy (c. 1623)