Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 7.15

Whatever anyone does or says, I must be good, just as if the gold, or the emerald, or the purple were always saying this:

Whatever anyone does or says, I must be emerald and keep my color.

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 7 (tr Long)

If the philosophy of Stoicism is asking me to live according to Nature, it is asking me to always be completely human in the ways that I think and act.

This does not need to be a vague and mysterious concept, or the pursuit of some impossible task. It is simply asking me to be who I was made to be, to live in harmony with my very identity as a creature designed to know and to love. This responsibility always comes first, and all other wants or circumstances must be ordered toward it.

An emerald should keep its color. A man should keep his virtue. Anything less is an abandonment of who and what I am. Yes, other people will change their tune, or pull away from their promises, or speak in one way and then act in another. Yes, others may sadly make their excuses, but I do not need to do so.

I will fail at my task when I allow a change in how others live to modify the way that I choose to live. We may not speak of it much in our time, and that perhaps tells us something, but the remedy is the virtue of constancy, of being enduring, reliable, and committed, even when others are fickle, slippery, and unfaithful.

Whatever someone else has said and done, I do not need to define myself by what he has said and done. I do not need to respond in kind to the way I have been treated, and I do not need to become what I must of necessity confront. I can be good, I can be an emerald, and I can keep my color.

Likewise, when I have failed to be the man I should be, I may well expect wrath and indignation in return. I may well receive it, but it remains up to me to make it right. I will see that I have fallen short, and then it is my job, and mine alone, to correct my error. Someone else who is being resentful or vindictive never excuses me from the requirement of never being resentful or vindictive.

I will grow weary of the games, of the lies, of the abuse, and of the betrayals. Only one judgment will fix this. Let it all be as it is, but I will be something rather different.

I meet a good friend most every week for a cup of coffee, and he worries about the state of the world. “People can just be so terrible,” he says. “I can’t keep up with it.”

And I tell him, time and time again, that he doesn’t need to keep up with them. He only needs to keep up with himself. He needs to keep his own color, and not anyone else's.

Written in 9/2007