Boethius, The Consolation 2.19

. . . “Is there then no good that belongs to you and is implanted within you, so that you seek your good things elsewhere, in things without you and separate from you? Have things taken such a turn that the animal, whose reason gives it a claim to divinity, cannot seem beautiful to itself except by the possession of lifeless trappings?

“Other classes of things are satisfied by their intrinsic possessions, but men, though made like God in understanding, seek to find among the lowest things adornment for their higher nature. And you do not understand that you do a great wrong thereby to your Creator. He intended that the human race should be above all other earthly beings, yet you thrust down your honorable place below the lowest. For if every good thing is allowed to be more valuable than that to which it belongs, surely you are putting yourselves lower than them in your estimation, since you think precious the most worthless of things, and this is indeed a just result.

“Since, then, this is the condition of human nature, that it surpasses other classes only when it realizes what is in itself. As soon as it ceases to know itself, it must be reduced to a lower rank than the beasts. To other animals ignorance of themselves is natural; in men it is a fault. How plainly and how widely do you err by thinking that anything can be adorned by ornaments that belong to others! Surely that cannot be. For if anything becomes brilliant by additions to it, the praise for the brilliance belongs to the additions. But the subject remains in its own vileness, though hidden and covered by these externals.

“Again, I say that nothing can be a good thing which does harm to its possessor. Am I wrong? ‘No,’ you will say. Yet many a time do riches harm their possessors, since all base men, who are therefore the most covetous, think that they themselves alone are worthy to possess all gold and precious stones. You therefore, who now go in fear of the cudgel and sword of the robber, could laugh in his face if you had entered upon this path with empty pockets.

“How wonderful is the surpassing blessing of mortal wealth! As soon as you have acquired it, your cares begin!”

—from Book 2, Prose 5

This is one of my favorite passages in the whole of the Consolation. In my own thinking, I will often break it down into smaller bits, but I realize that it works best as a complete whole. The parts all fit together. I offer it simply as it is.

I will sometimes present the message to myself in the form of four basic questions, and this helps me to see how ridiculous my misguided thinking and living can become. While I know that not all people appreciate sarcasm, the final sentence of the passage puts it all in its proper place. Isn’t it grand how I wish to add something to myself, and I end up only diminishing myself?

Why am I looking for something on the outside, when I should be looking on the inside?

Why am I estimating myself as less by thinking of my possessions more?

Why do I insist that having anything beyond myself is to my merit, when the merit of what I desire is already within itself?

Why do I stubbornly continue to believe that the things I crave are always good for me, when they are, in fact, quite often harmful for me?

I will think of all the times I have been so busy with my situation, that I am paying absolutely no attention to myself. It is as if my obsession with some problem or other, which really has nothing to do with me, has taken control. I am so fixated on what is happening, that I forget what I should be doing, and about the inherent value in my thoughts and actions.

I will think of all the times I placed my position, or my reputation, or my possessions up on some sort of pedestal, and in the process made myself subservient to them. I am seeking them on the assumption that they will improve me, and therefore making them better than me. I think that I am somehow freeing myself, but I am actually making myself a sort of slave.

I will think of all the times I have behaved more like an animal than like a man, until I realize that I have, in fact, become worse than an animal. An animal is supposed to act only on instinct, and is not made to understand in the way that I am made. The animal is living its nature, and I have failed to live up to mine.  I can add all the accessories and decorations that I like, but much like cosmetics only hide blemishes and do not remove them, the trappings of life are only a cover for my inner ugliness.

I will think of all the times I have pursued vanities, only to find myself miserable. If it really is so good, why does it hurt so badly? How is it that the desire to possess and control brings with it even more trouble that I started with? Once I value all the money, and the power, and the recognition, people just as greedy as myself will want to take it all away, yet as soon as I leave these things behind me, I will be free of that harm. The more I have, the more I need to have to keep what I have. It never ends, and always brings with it worry.

So it does help me to tell myself sarcastically, “My, look what a big man you are! Look at all those wonderful troubles you’ve heaped up for yourself!” My problem has arisen from how I think about what is valuable, and how I relate myself on the inside to the things in my world on the outside. My problem is, as that classic song says, that I was looking for love in all the wrong places. 

Written in 9/2015