Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 6.20

In the gymnastic exercises suppose that a man has torn you with his nails, and by dashing against your head has inflicted a wound.

Well, we neither show any signs of vexation, nor are we offended, nor do we suspect him afterwards as a treacherous fellow. 

And yet we are on our guard against him, not however as an enemy, nor yet with suspicion, but we quietly get out of his way.

Something like this let your behavior be in all the other parts of life. Let us overlook many things in those who are like antagonists in the gymnasium. For it is in our power, as I said, to get out of the way, and to have neither suspicion nor hatred.

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 6 (tr Long)

I have often struggled between the extremes of sticking around the people who were bad for me, or allowing myself to be consumed by resentment for them. There is a wonderful middle ground of neither allowing any harm to be done to myself, nor doing any harm to others.

As a rational and a social animal, man can always love his neighbor as himself, and he does not have to feel anger or hatred when he gets out of the way of someone who will do him wrong. In my own experience, I think of this as being able to judge without being judgmental, or being able to distinguish right from wrong without becoming self-righteous or dismissive.

And as this describes a harmonious relationship to our fellows, it can also describe a harmonious relationship to the entire world itself, and to the workings of Providence. I need never be hateful to any of my neighbors, and I need never be hateful to any of my circumstances.

Many years ago, I did not step aside when I saw someone dangerous heading my way. I do not need to delude myself by claiming that my ignorance was not of my own making. Years of allowing myself to be dragged about by dishonesty and disloyalty followed, and I consequently allowed myself to react with resentment or despair. The way I faced all other conditions and events mirrored this. My own estimation imposed a cynical and suspicious tint to everything that I saw around me.

Life does not need to be this way. I must deal with my sparring partners wisely, and I must manage anything that comes my way without the slightest degree of malice. There is never any need to cast blame outwards at anyone or anything, only to take responsibility for myself inwards. I can say no, without spitting venom.

Others will be as they will be, and I must justly make of myself what I can justly make of myself. I must never be in conflict with others, or with my world.

Written in 2/2007