Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 5.20

In one respect man is the nearest thing to me, so far as I must do good to men and endure them.

But so far as some men make themselves obstacles to my proper acts, man becomes to me one of the things that are indifferent, no less than the sun, or wind, or a wild beast.

Now it is true that these may impede my action, but they are no impediments to my affects and disposition, which have the power of acting conditionally and changing, for the mind converts and changes every hindrance to its activity into an aid.

And so that which is a hindrance is made a furtherance to an act, and that which is an obstacle on the road helps us on this road.

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 5 (tr Long)

Marcus Aurelius often speaks of man’s social nature, and how creatures endowed with reason are inherently ordered toward cooperation and mutual respect. It is the virtue of justice that should rule our relationships with others, giving to each his due, in the recognition that we all share the same dignity and purpose.

I am always saddened to see people treat one another poorly, most especially when they claim to seek virtue. Yet I must understand that the power to choose virtue will also include the power to choose vice. How should I go about dealing with someone who would treat me unfairly, try to do me harm, or tempt me away from living well?

I must surely still desire what is good for him, and assist him in whatever way is possible to find his own happiness. Yet insofar as his words and deeds may become a hindrance to my own character, I must be completely indifferent to them. I should treat his actions as neither good nor bad in themselves, but rather ask myself how whatever he has said or done, however he intended it, can help me to improve myself.

It is not what he has done that is good or bad for me, but how I make something of it that is good or bad for me.

While another may hinder what is outside of me, he cannot hinder what is inside of me. Not only can his actions not control my judgment, but I can in turn also transform his action through my judgment. What was supposed to do harm can be turned into something of benefit, depending entirely upon what I do with it.

Will you speak dishonestly? I will confront it, and try to reply honestly. Will you take what isn’t yours? I will confront it, and try to give of myself. Will you act with hate? I will confront it, and try to respond with love. This helps me to become better, and may also help you to make yourself better.

The stumbling block can become the stepping-stone.

I had a math teacher many years ago, a nun who was tough as nails but with the biggest heart. She had a poem by R.L. Sharpe, called “A Bag of Tools”, on her classroom wall. I think of the poem, and I think of her, very often:

Isn't it strange how princes and kings,

And clowns that caper in sawdust rings,

And common people, like you and me,

Are builders for eternity?

Each is given a list of rules;

A shapeless mass; a bag of tools.

And each must fashion, ere life is flown,

A stumbling block, or a stepping-stone.

Written in 6/2006