. . . “Do you reckon such happiness to be
prized, which is sure to pass away? Is good fortune dear to you, which is with
you for a time and is not sure to stay, and which is sure to bring you
unhappiness when it is gone?
“But seeing that it cannot be stayed at
will, and that when it flees away it leaves misery behind, what is such a
fleeting thing but a sign of coming misery?
“Nor should it ever satisfy any man to
look only at what is placed before his eyes. Prudence takes measure of the
results to come from all things. The very changeableness of good and bad makes
Fortune's threats no more fearful, nor her smiles to be desired.
“And lastly, when you have once put
your neck beneath the yoke of Fortune, you must with steadfast heart bear
whatever comes to pass within her realm. But if you would dictate the law by
which she whom you have freely chosen to be your mistress must stay or go,
surely you will be acting without justification; and your very impatience will
make more bitter the lot that you cannot change.
“If you set your sails before the wind,
will you not move forward where the wind drives you, not where your will may
choose to go? If you entrust your seed to the furrow, will you not weigh the
rich years and the barren against each other? You have given yourself over to
Fortune's rule, and you must bow yourself to your mistress's ways.
“Are you trying to stay the force of
her turning wheel? Ah! Dull-witted mortal, if Fortune begins to stay still, she
is no longer Fortune.”
—from
Book 2, Prose 1
If I
wish my happiness to be consistent, and I wish my happiness not to be built
upon dependence, then Fortune cannot be my path to happiness.
That
which refuses to last will always leave me wanting more, and that which relies
on what is outside of my power will leave me helpless in the face of it.
Fortune is exactly like that. She gives, and then she takes away. She offers,
but only when I submit to her terms. I am trusting in something that is inherently
unreliable, and I am surrendering my own power.
I leave
it to the statisticians to tell me what my odds might be, and how the rules of
the house might affect those odds. But why would I ever want to base my life on
odds, and submit to another’s rules?
When I
have worked with addicts, and when I struggled with addiction myself, I have
been amazed at how what Boethius says can speak profoundly to those who rely
upon what is beyond their control.
I would
reflect on how we sadly think that those who suffer from addiction are at the
fringes of society. Yet change the object of desire, from alcohol, drugs, and
sex, to money, power, and fame, and we are now describing the status quo. If
becoming rich, influential, and popular is what I think will fulfill me, then I
am making exactly the same mistake as the fellow begging to get his next score.
Do I
wish to always be looking over my shoulder, afraid to lose what I think I
need? Do I wish to always be moved by my desires, instead of ruling my desires?
That is what a reliance on Fortune, upon only what happens to me, will
ultimately bring me.
When
reflecting on the give and take of life, I have noticed how often people want
the circumstances of life to be unconditional, while also leaving room for their
own commitments to be conditional. We are angry when other people lie, cheat,
and steal, but we wish to retain our own option to lie, cheat and steal.
Shouldn’t
the exact opposite really be the case? Others may act without loyalty or
justice, but that is never something I can decide. I, however, can decide to always
act with loyalty or justice. The former is unpredictable, and beyond my
choice, while the latter will be as predictable as I choose to make it. I get
the order and priority all mixed up, from confusing what I should do with
what others should do.
How odd
that I expect to receive from others on consistent terms, while refusing to give
to others on consistent terms.
Written in 7/2015
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