Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 4.9

That which does not make a man worse than he was, also does not make his life worse, nor does it harm him either from without or from within.

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 4 (tr Long)

We are, quite understandably, concerned about being wronged, and with finding ways to protect ourselves from being hurt. I only need to observe all the ways that we are expected to shield our property, our livelihoods, and our social standing from threats and losses. The more I can keep control over what is mine, the story has it, the better my life will be.

In contrast to conventional wisdom, the conclusions of Stoicism may seem downright ridiculous to many, but this is surely only because we may have never really considered the premises from which they proceed. To decide what will determine a life that is better or worse requires nothing less than understanding the true nature of human benefit or harm.

The conventional wisdom will tell me that I am better when I have more, and worse when I have less. If I add to what is mine then I benefit, and if I take away from what is mine then I am harmed.

Now up to this point, I imagine the Stoic could actually agree. The radical difference will reveal itself, however, when I consider what should rightly be considered “mine” to begin with. This, in turn, will decide what it is that truly helps me or hurts me.

Some will tell you that having more means possessing more of those things that are external to us, those things that provide power, pleasure, or position. I become a better man, by this model, the more I am secure in my circumstances.

The Stoic, in contrast, will tell you that having more means possessing more of those things that are internal to us, those things that provide wisdom and virtue. I become a better man, by this model, the more I am secure in my character.

If I define myself by Fortune, I will think myself worse off when my conditions no longer conform to my desires, and I will think myself harmed when I lose those wanted things outside of me. I can plan for the future and scheme all I want, but the dice will fall where they may.

But if I define myself by Nature, none of that ever needs to happen.  Whatever external circumstances I must live under, whether through their presence or absence, will never determine my true worth. Give me more or less worldly success, make me richer or poorer, praised or reviled, and it will all offer me the exact same opportunity to improve the dignity of my thinking and actions.

My circumstances won’t make me worse, or make my life worse, because they won’t harm me, unless I choose to let them do so. I can always maintain what is really mine, through thick and thin, because what is mine is within me.

There is a good reason the Stoic can be supremely confident in his happiness, as long as he is sincerely reverent in his commitment to Nature. 

I will only become the author of my own tragedies. 

Written in 6/2005