Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 3.9

Reverence the faculty that produces opinion. On this faculty it entirely depends whether there shall exist in your ruling part any opinion inconsistent with Nature and the constitution of the rational animal.

And this faculty promises freedom from hasty judgment, and friendship towards men, and obedience to the gods.

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 3 (tr Long)

Everything else will proceed from our estimation, from the manner in which our judgments inform our choices and actions. It will be for us to decide if we follow opinion that conforms to reason and Nature, or if we let opinion be moved only by the push and pull of impressions and desires.

I was always deeply inspired by all sorts of stories as a child, and they didn’t have to be the popular ones from television cartoons or comic books. I remember the first time someone told me the story of the Judgment of Solomon, and my first response was one of complete horror. All I could initially see in my imagination was a mean and heartless king, who appeared willing to cut a child in half just to prove some point. 

It had been my uncle who told me the story, after I had asked about a painting in his rectory. I told him how I thought the decision seemed wrong, because it was built on fear. He kindly and patiently asked me to think about it from a different point of view. I can still remember his words: “Solomon looked at the disagreement between the two women, and he found where there was real love in all of it.”

Over the years, this worked on me in two ways. First, whenever I came across the story again, I began to have more of an understanding for Solomon’s dilemma. He was confronted with two rival claims, and with no apparent way to distinguish between them. It must all have looked like a jumble of accusation, anger, and jealousy. Yet in the midst of this, he discerned a way to determine the rightful mother. He uncovered the truth behind the appearances, what was just and fair beyond the emotions.

Second, I also began to see how my own reaction to the story itself underwent a change, from being overwhelmed by instinctive feelings, to reflecting on what those feelings meant. What looked to me like recklessness and cruelty was actually wisdom and compassion. It allowed the true thoughts and intentions of the women to come to light. Solomon had seen beneath the mask, and I was doing something similar within myself.

Feeling that rushes ahead of thinking will inevitably lead to careless action. Impressions are powerful, but understanding makes it possible for me to consider something from different sides, and to see the reasons for all of those possible perspectives. I could feel only my own desire or resentment, or I could go further and ask why I am feeling it, how another may be feeling, and what I can do to gain a mastery over myself.

I can surely only show respect for a friend, or a reverence for Providence, if I seek to see things as they are, not only how they feel to me at a certain moment. 

Written in 1/2005

Image: Peter Paul Rubens, The Judgment of Solomon (c. 1617)