Seneca, On the Happy Life 6: What to Reach For?

Let us seek for some blessing, which does not merely look fine, but is sound and good throughout alike, and most beautiful in the parts which are least seen: let us unearth this. It is not far distant from us; it can be discovered.

All that is necessary is to know whether to stretch out your hand: but, as it is, we behave as though we were in the dark, and reach out beyond what is nearest to us, striking as we do so against the very things that we want.

However, that I may not draw you into digressions, I will pass over the opinions of other philosophers, because it would take a long time to state and confute them all: take ours.

When, however, I say "ours”, I do not bind myself to any one of the chiefs of the Stoic school, for I too have a right to form my own opinion. I shall, therefore, follow the authority of some of them, but shall ask some others to discriminate their meaning: perhaps, when after having reported all their opinions, I am asked for my own, I shall impugn none of my predecessors' decisions, and shall say, "I will also add somewhat to them.” . . . 

—Seneca the Younger, On the happy life, Chapter 3 (tr Stewart)

I fondly remember my newborn son reaching out his hand, and, like every new father, I held out my own hand. He clenched onto my finger like a vise, and he would not let go. I was very happy to oblige, and I could not even conceive of pulling myself free.

I know, the experts tell me that a newborn can’t see, has no sense of self, most certainly can’t smile, and will grasp onto anything that comes his way. All of this, modern science explains, is just a biological reaction.

That is as it may well be, but such a biological reaction tells us most everything about how we will all continue to grow, in body, in mind, and in spirit. In the end, that same instinct defines everything about us. We all seek what is good, in whatever way we can. It was no accident that the only thing that dragged my son away from my finger was his mother’s milk.

He is now much older, and he reaches still. He no longer reaches for my hand when he feels fear, and he no longer reaches for his mother’s embrace when he desires comfort. He is becoming his own man; he reaches for purpose and meaning in everything that he does, but now he is learning to decide for himself. He can see, he can feel, he can understand, and perhaps most apparently, he can smile and he can frown.

I will refuse, to the bitter end, to define my children by the social, political, religious, and economic clubs they belong to. I will ask them to define themselves by their own reason, and certainly not by whether they have pleased me, or whether they have succeeded in the eyes of the world. I hope I can only help them to not reach out blindly into the dark, but to have a sense to see clearly what is really worth holding on to.

The truth about our lives isn’t distant or obscure; it’s right there in front if us, within us, if we only choose to see who we are. I was quite amazed to see the privilege given to some of my wealthy peers, many hundreds of thousands of dollars in entitlements, and the disadvantage suffered by some of my poorer peers, many hundreds of thousands of dollars in need. The very problem, from day one, was that we all assumed those many hundreds of thousands of dollars would make any difference whatsoever. I ask myself, most every day, whether the presence of wealth would have made me any better, or the presence of need actually made me any worse?

Those are not the things to reach for. Reach for what is near, reach for the truth clear within the mind, and the love clear within the heart. Do not reach for a career, or a ten year plan, or a twenty year plan, but reach for an immediate living plan. Reach for what is entirely within your power, to be a decent human being, who seeks the truth without bias, and who loves his neighbor without prejudice.

Through all of this, avoid “–isms”. Seneca considers himself a Stoic, but he will most certainly not define himself by this or that school, or movement, or fashionable trend. He will find the truth wherever it may be found, not at the expense of one, but for the fulfillment of all. 

Written in 1/2017