Epictetus, The Handbook 66: Where the Rubber Meets the Road

How long will you wait to think yourself worthy of the highest and transgress in nothing the clear pronouncement of reason? You have received the precepts that you ought to accept, and you have accepted them.

Why then do you still wait for a master, that you may delay the amendment of yourself till he comes? You are a youth no longer, you are now a full-grown man. If now you are careless and indolent and are always putting off, fixing one day after another as the limit when you mean to begin attending to yourself, then, living or dying, you will make no progress but will continue unawares in ignorance.

Therefore make up your mind before it is too late to live as one who is mature and proficient, and let all that seems best to you be a law that you cannot transgress. And if you encounter anything troublesome or pleasant or glorious or inglorious, remember that the hour of struggle is come, the Olympic contest is here and you may put off no longer, and that one day and one action determines whether the progress you have achieved is lost or maintained.

This was how Socrates attained perfection, paying heed to nothing but reason, in all that he encountered. And if you are not yet Socrates, yet ought you to live as one who would wish to be a Socrates.

—Epictetus, The Handbook, Chapter 51 (tr Matheson)

I was often quite confused about this mysterious process of “growing up” we were all supposed to be doing over the years. I still remember all the catch phrases, learning to be responsible and productive, or becoming someone who contributed and made a difference. My own college liked to speak about “serving others,” but I was often troubled that I didn’t see much of that.

I remembered how often we were inclined to selfishly serve ourselves as children, bragging and showing off to others, but too many of us still seemed to be doing much the same thing in our now adult professional lives. The trappings were different, but the game was normally the same, from the schoolyard to the conference room.

I did indeed find people who were doing some genuine growing up, who were transforming the very order of their lives, though they were not sold to us as the role models we should follow. The people who did inspire me were not interested in winning by dying with the most toys. They didn’t seek to rule fortune, to acquire power and position, but they simply sought to rule themselves. That process of growing up had never been just about raising the stakes in the game, but changing the very rules of the game.

The terms we use may sound the same, but the meaning is radically different. Responsibility is not having power over others, but having power over oneself. Productivity is measured not in the profit of wealth, but in the profit of character. Contributing is not giving to be seen as giving, but giving for its own sake. Making a difference is not being esteemed and remembered, but serving as a quiet example.

I have long suspected that most of us know exactly what we must do to live well. Genuine commitment, where the rubber meets the road, does not require heroic strength or superhuman ability. “Aqaba is over there. It’s only a matter of going.” I may wish to delay, to hedge my bets, to drain as much selfish gratification from life before I have to set things right. I must also remember that each and every moment could already be well too late to change course.

I once read a journal article on business ethics that argued how Socrates would have been the best captain of industry in our time, because he knew how to engage his customers, and he knew how to sell his product. I could only shake my head, because Socrates never saw his fellow men as customers, and he never had anything at all to sell. He had friends, and he wanted to share the true, the good, and the beautiful with them. That is why he was a grown-up. 

Written in 4/2007