Epictetus, The Handbook 10: Hindrance to the Will

Sickness is a hindrance to the body, but not to the will, unless the will consent.

Lameness is a hindrance to the leg, but not to the will.

Say this to yourself at each event that happens, for you shall find that though it hinders something else it will not hinder you.

—Epictectus, The Handbook 9 (tr Matheson)

One of the greatest obstacles to my living in a Stoic manner has been how I have gone about experiencing pain. I have faced levels of pain, especially the emotional pain of the Black Dog, which I have sometimes thought to be unbearable. I then wonder what I might be doing wrong, and how I’m missing that special trick to turn off the switch.

Speaking for myself, I have never found the switch, and that’s because I don’t think there is one. If I somehow managed to turn off my body, my memories, and my passions, I would certainly no longer feel pleasure or pain, but I would also no longer be human.

Attempts to ignore or numb pain will not remove it, but will simply encourage it to fester.

Nor have I ever known brute force to destroy suffering, as it always seems to cause more, whether in myself or in others.

I believe my mistake has, in typical Stoic fashion, been one of estimation. My assumption was often that pain must define me, but implicit here was also the assumption that I am only a creature of passion.

I began to understand that while pain is indeed a hindrance, and sometimes mightily so, to my body or to my feelings, it need not be a hindrance to my judgment or to my choices.

The question isn’t whether pain is a hindrance, but rather of what it hinders. If I can remember that who I am is far more than someone determined by feelings and appearances, then I can also learn that I must not let myself be ruled by feelings and appearances.

This isn’t just a matter of casting away unpleasant feelings, as that would be another form of denial. Rather, as with all circumstances that are in and of themselves indifferent, but depend for their value on how we make use of them, suffering can become a means for living well. I can mold and transform it if I do not let it define who I am.

This is true of pleasure just as much as it is of pain, and of any other circumstance that we will come across in our lives. Something may hurt or be pleasing, it may be convenient or inconvenient, difficult or easy, and whatever good comes from it will only arise from our willingness to rule ourselves.

That power to order my own thoughts and choices is not itself a burden or a hindrance, but the realization of liberty. When I have followed Epictetus’ advice to remember that I am the only hindrance to myself, I have also managed my greatest moments of peace and contentment.

Written in 12/2011