Living in the best way 3

. . . "Second, consider what kind of men they are at table, in bed, and so forth: and particularly, under what compulsions in respect of opinions they are; and as to their acts, consider with what pride they do what they do." . . .

--Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 11 (tr Long)

After considering how we are always made for one another, and never to oppose one another, I can next ask myself not only what sorts of actions men perform, and what habits drive them, but especially what it is that may motivate them to such actions. What are they thinking? What purpose are they aiming at?

This may, at first seem an exercise in breeding resentment. I could fill myself with all the false appearances of terrible malice and evil intentions, but if I only choose to reflect clearly, I will surely see that others most likely don't think as I imagine that they do. We are all seeking what we perceive to be a good, however ignorant it may be, and to perceive this simple fact can begin to bridge the divide between us.

If someone seeks fame, fortune, or pleasure, I shouldn't assume he's rubbing his hands will glee at the death and destruction he pursues. He simply thinks that fame, fortune, and pleasure are the goods he was made to appreciate.  He judges them to be natural.

Now how often have I done the same thing, by pursuing a mistaken good? If I can understand my own motivations, the pride I sought, I can now better understand my fellows.  They no longer need to be the 'other', the opponent, the adversary. He is in error, but I have surely thought and desired that same error.

Practice thinking with and through other men, and I will begin to understand them more fully. Once I understand them more fully, I can order my own words and actions toward helping them out of their worries and bonds, not adding to them.

Written in 11/2002