"While we are postponing, life speeds by. Nothing, Lucilius, is ours, except time. We were entrusted by nature with the ownership of this single thing, so fleeting and slippery that anyone who will can oust us from possession. What fools these mortals be! They allow the cheapest and most useless things, which can easily be replaced, to be charged in the reckoning, after they have acquired them; but they never regard themselves as in debt when they have received some of that precious commodity, - time! And yet time is the one loan which even a grateful recipient cannot repay.
"You may desire to know how I, who preach to you so freely, am practicing. I confess frankly: my expense account balances, as you would expect from one who is free-handed but careful. I cannot boast that I waste nothing, but I can at least tell you what I am wasting, and the cause and manner of the loss; I can give you the reasons why I am a poor man.
"My situation, however, is the same as that of many who are reduced to slender means through no fault of their own: every one forgives them, but no one comes to their rescue.
"What is the state of things, then? It is this: I do not regard a man as poor, if the little which remains is enough for him. I advise you, however, to keep what is really yours; and you cannot begin too early. For, as our ancestors believed, it is too late to spare when you reach the dregs of the cask. Of that which remains at the bottom, the amount is slight, and the quality is vile. "
--Seneca the Younger, Moral Letters to Lucilius 1 (tr Gummere)
Everywhere I look around me, I see people claiming things for themselves. Their popularity, their success, their wealth are all apparently due to their own efforts and abilities. We engage in an elaborate ritual of showmanship, smugly insisting that "this is mine, not yours, and I made it that way."
This instinct is completely understandable. I may believe that I can define myself and give myself a sense of meaning and purpose through such possessions. The tendencies of a consumer society make this all the easier, it would seem.
This appearance of possession is, however, entirely misleading. We are taking credit where no credit is due. The world of our circumstances is entirely beyond our power, and even assuming that it could be within our power, it would in no way in itself reflect our own character. We are completely mistaken about what is truly ours.
Seneca reminds us that only time is ours. Even that is too easy to misunderstand. He does not mean that we are given all the time we would like to have, but rather that we are only in control of what we are to do with the time we are given. I can't help but remember Gandalf's wonderful lines to Frodo whenever I read Seneca's passage.
I think of whatever time I have as nothing more than the presence of opportunity, the opportunity not to possess many things outside of me, but to possess my own choices and actions. Only those things remain under my power, regardless of the external conditions. It is really only that time that can be wasted, and we will deeply regret it when we have too little left. The problem arises from being thoroughly confused about the true difference between wealth and poverty.
I recently noticed a friend dropping constant references to the new house she had bought in one of the nicest neighborhoods of town. We have all bragged about things, both big and little, though in the end anything we need to brag about is really very little. Partly in jest, partly in seriousness, I finally asked, "what ever would you do if you lost that wonderful house?" I expected a clever answer along the line of "no worries, I'll just buy another one!" Instead I was met with a very serious gaze. "I'll never lose that house. It's everything I am."
I felt sadness, not resentment, at least on that occasion. No, the tiniest thing can make us lose a career, a home, a family, and no, we are far, far more than the sum of such things. Keeping the vanities of life may actually do us far more harm than losing them. It was a helpful reminder of how to distinguish rich from poor.
Written on 07/02/2000
Image: Jan van der Venne, The Three Ages of Man (early 17th century)
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