Losses and gains.

"Keep this thought in readiness, when you lose anything external, what you acquire in place of it; and if it be worth more, never say, 'I have had a loss'; neither if you have got a horse in place of an ass, or an ox in place of a sheep, nor a good action in place of a bit of money, nor in place of idle talk such tranquillity as befits a man, nor in place of lewd talk if you have acquired modesty.

"If you remember this, you will always maintain your character such as it ought to be. But if you do not, consider that the times of opportunity are perishing, and that whatever pains you take about yourself, you are going to waste them all and overturn them. And it needs only a few things for the loss and overturning of all, namely a small deviation from reason."

--Epictetus, Discourses 4.3 (tr Long)

I sometimes wonder if one our favorite pastimes is complaining. One can hardly condemn or point fingers here. We are all guilty at various times.We easily become frustrated and resentful when things don't go our way, and so we blame the world. There's a sort of twisted satisfaction in parading our laundry list of everything that is wrong, and how unfairly we have been treated. If we are to take our litany of grievances seriously, it  would seem that the balance of credits and debits is horribly disordered. I have done everything right, but the world has done me wrong.

I have known places of work where the primary topic of conversation is about how everything is unfair. I have taught students who speak of little more than how their day is boring. The solution is neither the complaining, nor complaining about the complaining. The solution lies in rethinking the measure of balance. If something seems unfair, choose to make it fair. If something appears boring, choose to make it interesting. It all rests in my judgment.

G.K. Chesterton once argued that we are quick to speak of what is wrong with the world without having any sense of what is right in the world. The same insight applies here. It is entirely within my power to understand that what seems to me to be negative can rightly be understood to be positive.

I must contrast what I think I have lost with what I have actually gained. If I have been deceived, I can make this an opportunity to be honest. If I am hated, I now have all the more occasion to practice love.  If the world treats me poorly, it has simply provided me with a means to act rightly. An apparent evil can always be met with a good. I have gained far more than I have lost.

I will only think the balance is upset if I give more weight to what happens to me than what I myself do.  In reality, the former can always be transformed by the latter.

Written on 8/12/2001

Image: Weighing of the Heart, from the Hunefer Book of the Dead